I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
