thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
