You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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