She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
