Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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