I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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