Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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