OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
