i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
