Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
