Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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