You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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