yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
