He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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