That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
