just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
