My friends, they love my intelligence
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wish there were birth control emojis
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
