You're completely useless in the revolution.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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