making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
