I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Randomize
