It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
did you just send me my own nude
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
