K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
