Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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