Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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