Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
