everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
