im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
