"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
