Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
