Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
