Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
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