so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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