The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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