Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
