He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
