so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
