I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize