everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
