ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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