Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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