I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
