so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is it penis luge time yet?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
