Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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