I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
