I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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