it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
