I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Randomize
