its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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