possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
