halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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