Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
