remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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